What a proud moment it is for a parent when the doctor tells you, "Congratulations! You have a beautiful baby girl!" What he should say is, "I am so terribly sorry to be the one to have to inform you that you have just given birth to what will one day be the most overwhelming stress in your life!" He should then send you a sympathy card and a large bottle of Valium!
Don't misunderstand. A beautiful daughter is indeed a blessing...for all the men that want to date her! One day she's skipping off to the bus stop with her pig tails and back pack, the next day some hairy chested MAN with a deep voice is picking her up in his pick up truck to go "hang out". Ha! Fat chance! This guy hasn't met this mother yet!
I have been "blessed" with 4 truly beautiful girls, each with her own dazzling wit and charming personality. Three are out of the house. Only one of those three is married. I still worry about the other two since they aren't under my protective wing anymore. The youngest is still at home and 15. God help me now that she is getting into "dating". I have learned many things as a parent and it seems unfair not to pass on some of my hard earned wisdom to other worried moms and dads. If I can save even one person any heartache in this business of raising daughters I will feel my trials have not been in vain!
I have always made it a point to meet any young man hoping to spend any time with one of my girls. By "meet" I mean; introduce myself, take his picture, finger print him, copy his I.D. and interview him for at least 30 minutes. No, I am not kidding. I do all of this sort of tongue in cheek, but since I figure his tongue will soon enough be in her cheek...or so he is hoping, I hold nothing back! When the young Romeo in question begins to get nervous and ask why I am asking to copy his I.D. and take his photo I explain that I expect to see my daughter home that evening by the specified time (not a second later) and in the same condition she left. I expect her to have a good time and be treated like the princess that she is. If this does not happen, I now know where to find him, and so will the police.
Sometime during the interview process I will ask the young man if a total stranger has ever offered him the keys to his brand new Ferrari? Inevitably he will say no. I point out to him that he is a complete stranger to me and he is borrowing something much more precious to me than a mere physical possession. I would sooner give him the keys to my house than have him take my daughter out, but since she seems to like him, I will have to trust her good judgement and his fear of a mother's wrath. I wish them well and I sincerely hope that they have a lovely evening together.
I usually follow them out to the car and make sure that he opens her car door for her. If he forgets his manners, possibly due to the case of nerves my previous interrogation brought on, I gently remind him that a young lady should never have to open her own door and at this point that young man will fairly leap over the hood of the car to assist my little lady!
In well over a decade of pre-date interviews and countless suitors, never once has a young man failed to deliver my daughter home on time, no worse for the wear. I'm sure much of the credit goes to my daughters for being bright, intelligent girls. I also think part of the reason is my little introduction ritual which lets the young suitors know what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they step out of line.
I have tweaked my tactic slightly for daughter number 4. Since she is a greater...'challenge' than the others, I have had to modify my approach to prepare her for dating life. I have taught her that it is illegal for anyone under the age of 32 to have sexual relations without a "sex license". (See Lie #3 of blog "It's Fun to Lie to Your Kids" 1/16/09) Heaven forbid she would break the law!
You may say I have a warped approach to parenting...but I sleep easier at night!
Don't misunderstand. A beautiful daughter is indeed a blessing...for all the men that want to date her! One day she's skipping off to the bus stop with her pig tails and back pack, the next day some hairy chested MAN with a deep voice is picking her up in his pick up truck to go "hang out". Ha! Fat chance! This guy hasn't met this mother yet!
I have been "blessed" with 4 truly beautiful girls, each with her own dazzling wit and charming personality. Three are out of the house. Only one of those three is married. I still worry about the other two since they aren't under my protective wing anymore. The youngest is still at home and 15. God help me now that she is getting into "dating". I have learned many things as a parent and it seems unfair not to pass on some of my hard earned wisdom to other worried moms and dads. If I can save even one person any heartache in this business of raising daughters I will feel my trials have not been in vain!
I have always made it a point to meet any young man hoping to spend any time with one of my girls. By "meet" I mean; introduce myself, take his picture, finger print him, copy his I.D. and interview him for at least 30 minutes. No, I am not kidding. I do all of this sort of tongue in cheek, but since I figure his tongue will soon enough be in her cheek...or so he is hoping, I hold nothing back! When the young Romeo in question begins to get nervous and ask why I am asking to copy his I.D. and take his photo I explain that I expect to see my daughter home that evening by the specified time (not a second later) and in the same condition she left. I expect her to have a good time and be treated like the princess that she is. If this does not happen, I now know where to find him, and so will the police.
Sometime during the interview process I will ask the young man if a total stranger has ever offered him the keys to his brand new Ferrari? Inevitably he will say no. I point out to him that he is a complete stranger to me and he is borrowing something much more precious to me than a mere physical possession. I would sooner give him the keys to my house than have him take my daughter out, but since she seems to like him, I will have to trust her good judgement and his fear of a mother's wrath. I wish them well and I sincerely hope that they have a lovely evening together.
I usually follow them out to the car and make sure that he opens her car door for her. If he forgets his manners, possibly due to the case of nerves my previous interrogation brought on, I gently remind him that a young lady should never have to open her own door and at this point that young man will fairly leap over the hood of the car to assist my little lady!
In well over a decade of pre-date interviews and countless suitors, never once has a young man failed to deliver my daughter home on time, no worse for the wear. I'm sure much of the credit goes to my daughters for being bright, intelligent girls. I also think part of the reason is my little introduction ritual which lets the young suitors know what is expected of them and what the consequences will be if they step out of line.
I have tweaked my tactic slightly for daughter number 4. Since she is a greater...'challenge' than the others, I have had to modify my approach to prepare her for dating life. I have taught her that it is illegal for anyone under the age of 32 to have sexual relations without a "sex license". (See Lie #3 of blog "It's Fun to Lie to Your Kids" 1/16/09) Heaven forbid she would break the law!
You may say I have a warped approach to parenting...but I sleep easier at night!
