I lost my Father on December 30th.
I was not ready...
Are we ever ready to lose someone?
I guess what I mean is, I didn't see it coming. He surprised us all.
He was 6' 2" and over 300 lbs.
He played for the Rams, he was a Lieutenant for the California Highway Patrol and he was larger than life to me, his little girl.
He called me Peachbutt.
He said my butt looked like a peach when I was born.
In the end he still, somehow, didn't seem fragile to me, even as I held his hand and he lie there dieing. He seemed...strong.
I write this not for sympathy but as a way of honoring a great man
who passed all too quietly that night.
He was not the average father.
He had a sharp and quick sense of humor. He was so quick with witty and often, sarcastic comebacks. He was so amusing to be around.
I got my sarcastic sense of humor from him, as did my 3 siblings.
If my dad was afraid of anything, I don't know what it was.
However, this seemingly invinsible man is no longer with us...
in the conventional sense.
BUT...
I know that my father's spirit lives on.
In the end of dad's journey here in this life he gave me the greatest gift imaginable.
He gave me a glimpse into the spirit world as he, on more than one occassion, expressed sheer delight at the number of "people" who had come to greet him!
I could not see these beings but he knew many of them and was, in his altered state, introducing me to them. He was thrilled as he saw his own mother and young grandson who passed many years ago. I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace knowing that so many loved ones had come to help him in his transition into the next life.
As I said,
I write this to honor my father, and to thank him for allowing me to leave 2010 and usher in a new decade surrounded by angels...literally.
Thank you Dad.
I love you for all you were to me and all that you will continue to be.
I will miss you but I know that you are at peace and with loved ones.
With all my heart,
~Peachbutt~
